One of my favorite things in the world is laughter. Sitting around the dinner table with my family or having coffee with my best friends whilst laughing and sharing joy is something I will never get bored of. God has given us so much with this short amount of time on earth. Through the years I have learnt that he is a provider, a protector, and creator. He is all these things and more. But when I started to look to God as Father I began to realise that he is also the giver of joy. Like every youth pastor has told you, “God is in a good mood.” And it’s true, because his goodness is not limited to provider or protector or any other box we attempt to put Him in. He is the ultimate giver of joy and we need to stop believing that we are undeserving of this gift. As a young person I find it hard not to fall into the trap of believing that joy is the same thing as happiness. Happiness is an emotion and joy is way of living. Happiness is a feeling and the tricky thing about feelings is that they are always changing and more often than not, are dependent on circumstances. Joy is not dependent on whether or not we have a good day but knowing and believing that we are loved unconditionally; we live loved. People are going to hurt us, we are going to experience rejection in more ways that we can count and situations are going to scare and surprise us, but the good news is that our joy does not have to come from any of those factors. Joy comes from the steadfast and consistent love of a Father that never leaves us empty. He is ever present and ever faithful.
A year ago I got a prophetic word about the restoration of joy and six months later I got that word again except from a completely different person. Since then, this word joy has been at the back of my head. I found it annoying at times when that last thing I felt was joy and I was like “Yeah sure, God is going to restore my joy.” However, when walking out a season of uncertainty God began to teach me how to be consistent in my joy. That really looked a lot like letting go of my need to be perfect and lay down my right to be in control. Allowing myself to surrender, and letting God go back to the driver’s seat of my life, I discovered that joy really comes from trust. Trusting that God is good, believing that his goodness is not limited and we are loved no matter what. When we forget about the how and the striving to understand the why of everything in our lives, we start to walk in freedom. Freedom that produces joy. Joy that is steadfast and consistent. Joy that is based on the truth God has spoken over our lives, that we are loved whether or not we fail or succeed. And you know what? I want that to be the place I live and love from.
I find you again,
Here in a bed of my own making, of thoughts to heavy to unload.
I am surprised,
Because you keep coming back.
In the mess of my walls built high, have fallen
And the rumble doesn’t turn you away.
I was not searching,
Oh this cry of my soul was not loud and laid out.
My words rarely make sense,
But my heart it rubbles like the belly of the ocean,
Assured that there is more, there is always more.
I was not convinced,
That it was my doing of cautiousness,
Or my perfectly picked out plan.
Nothing of the sort.
I was found again,
In the trenches of war, when everything had gone silent.
With flashbacks like blood in my mouth and
Wounds reaching for my soul.
In the midst of manmade isolation,
And thought out rejection.
I was found by love much greater than any prize,
A love that begged me to dream again,
To actually use my eyes and see.
That He is good,
He is good to me.
I found him again,
Here in a bed of my own making, of thoughts to heavy to unload.
I am laughing,
Because He is good,
Always good to me.
Hanna Glover 